We all do it. Compare ourselves to others. Look at someone else and feel envy or jealousy for what they have and what we don’t have. We constantly see in others the parts of us that we believe are lacking in ourselves, instead of looking within ourselves to see all the incredible gifts that we DO have! With mental illness on the rise, or at least it feels that it’s much more openly talked about, the cause of many people’s sadness seems to be coming from a lack of self-worth, purpose and uncertainty. Their limiting beliefs are standing in their way, blocking them from progress.
Comparisonitis: The disease of comparing your own accomplishments to others in order to determine your self-worth.
I’ve listed 3 topics below that have helped me to eliminate (almost) comparisonitis from my life.
1. Building a healthy relationship with Social Media
Building a healthy relationship with Social MediaSocial Media plays a big role in comparisonitis. We can show the audience exactly what we want them to see; which generally means a skewed (but not necessarily false) representation of what our lives are. I don’t believe this as a bad thing. We filter our photos because it makes them look amazing, and we want to keep our social media, which are extremely visually driven platforms, as visually appealing to the audience as possible. However, the key here to resisting comparing your own life to that of an influencers or celebrities is to openly accept and acknowledge that social media is not an actual reality. It’s a story that we tell the audience to attract, engage and inspire others that’s created from a truth.
2. Write a gratitude List
If you can practice writing a gratitude list every day, it will open your mind to all the beautiful thing that you are surrounded by. My personal practice is to write down 5 things every night before I go sleep that I was grateful for that day.
Here’s an example:
“Today, I was grateful for:
- My morning cup of coffee
- The hot water to take a shower
- How I reacted in a challenging meeting; I saw progress in myself
- The nourishing meal I cooked myself for dinner
- The internet
If that’s not quite doing it for you, then you can also take time once per week or month or every few months to reflect on your achievements within that time. I like to do a list at the end of each year. It helps to put things into perspective and show that I’ve really made great progress and had an impact in the world. This focus on yourself is great way to calm your fear that drives the comparisonitis, and nourish your love and sense of self-worth.
3. Be happy for others
Being happy for what others have achieved or attained in their lives is the healthiest and most rewarding thing that you can do. It shows that you have truly accepted yourself for who you are. That you feel comfortable in your own skin and you’re proud of who you are. It’s knowing that we are all unique, have our own struggles and challenges, have our own strengths and rewards.
I remember when I used to hear news from friends, maybe a new job or a vacation that they were going on. I would be happy for them, but the most powerful thought came from that place of fear where I wondered why I didn’t have the same. That then lead towards doubting my own capabilities, feeling like I’m not good enough and that I mustn’t deserve those things. When the reality is that my friend had deserved something fantastic and it was only about them, not me!
If you find yourself coming from that place of fear, acknowledge it, remember your gratitude lists and stay in the present moment coming from a place of love. Be happy for others. It’s really one of the best things to do to cure comparisonitis.
So, that’s my view on how we can all start to overcome comparisonitis. Yes, as with everything in life, we need to practice daily inspired action in order to progress. To progress out of a place of fear and into a place of love. Where we can identify realities and misrepresentations, practice gratitude and lovingly be happy for others in such a way that it fills us up that those around us are having great experiences.
Start practicing today.